Are We Responsible for Others’ Feelings? Are They Responsible for Our’s?

🔴  MY RESPONSIBILITY:

I am responsible for my interpretation of others’ words, facial expressions, body language, and actions. The thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors that I form without confirming another’s meaning or intent is my responsibility. Others do not cause me to feel a certain way; my interpretation of others’ words, events, and behaviors cause me to feel as I do, based on my personality, history, insecurities, attachment style, and internal dialog. My responsibility is to be gently curious, confirming my interpretation or accepting its correction.

🔵  THEIR RESPONSIBILITY:

Others are responsible for their interpretation of my words, facial expressions, body language, and actions. The thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors that they form, without confirming my meaning or intent is their responsibility. I do not cause them to feel a certain way; their interpretation of words, events, and behaviors, based on their personality, history, insecurities, attachment style, and internal dialog, causes them to feel as they do. Their responsibility is to be gently curious, confirming with me their interpretation of my words or behavior and accepting its correction.

🟣  OUR RESPONSIBILITY:

We are responsible for how we influence one another’s thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. Our word choices, facial expressions, body language, considerate or inconsiderate actions, tone, volume, fighting tactics, and toxic or protective interactions influence others. Our mutual responsibility is to govern our dialog and interactions in a way that is curious, considerate, non-judgmental, respectful, kind, protective, and loving.

So, are we responsible for other’s feelings? Are they responsible for our’s? No. And yes. Human interactions create feelings according to the factors above. And when it comes down to it, we want to be around certain people because we like the way we feel around them, and there are certain people we don’t want to be around because we don’t like how we feel when around them. And there are certain people almost everyone wants to be around, and certain people almost no one wants to be around…because of how they “make people feel.” When it comes down to it, relationship quality is measured precisely by how we feel when with a person, and that feeling is a product of the above.